I don’t feel comfortable in the clothes I wear anymore. It feels wrong. I can’t really describe it but I am going to go looking for more modest outfits.
I listened to a lecture by Abdelrahman Murphy about how we listen to music with bad meaning lyrics. We claim that we are not really listening to the words, we are listening to the song. But when you listen to a song over and over again, the lyrics can’t help but become implanted in your mind. Before you know it you find yourself singing the words. Those words become your thoughts. Being exposed to haram and becoming used to it, makes the halal seem undesirable. Being exposed to bad song lyrics and having ti being repeated over and over in your head makes Islam, Allah and Prophet Muhammad (S) distant from your heart. This is part of the description of the people in Surah Al- Barqarah. Abdelrahman Murphy describes this way better than I do.
I am not going to cut out music entirely. I’ll be going through my ipod and cutting out songs that have haram lyrics and download a couple of nasheeds. Overall, I am going to try to separate myself from haram actions as much as possible.
I am going to cut out cursing. I don’t really curse online, or at all with my family but with my friends, yea… Even though I don’t curse with my fam, when they seriously irritate me I’m thinking about it and saying it in my mind. I know this is really bad… I usually use those words whenever I’m angry or stressed or both. I’m going to use SAT vocab words to substitute for curse words.
Insha’allah, I hope everything works out and that this is not just a ‘Ramadan thing’ but a ‘Forever type of thing’ that I will carry on in my everyday life :)